Discovery: Fascinating Phenomena of the Male Mind

November, also known as my favorite month, has flown by rather quickly. Naturally, interesting things have happened since my last post. Previously, I was committed to "winning" NaNoWriMo...that is until I didn't write one day, and then I didn't write the following day, and, of course, a pattern ensued. I have been writing a poem here and there, as well as adding small additions to my novellas I'm working on. I also took a part time job. I never expected to be working in the wonderful world of retail, but hey, it's temporary. Actually, everything is temporary. Dating is temporary, or so I make it so.

I dated a guy for two weeks this month, but I was never exactly interested. In fact, after the first time I met him, I was watching a Sex and The City episode where Carrie goes out with a guy that just isn't her type. She refers to dating him as if she's trying him on like a dress. As I was watching the episode, a light bulb, figuratively, of course, appeared above my head. Well, after a second date, I couldn't take any more so I promptly ended it. Phew. My special friend in Hungary, whom I'm not sure I've mentioned, has proven himself to be quite the animal. He has been exhibiting a complete lack of self-control, as well as possessing no morals whatsoever. As a stereotypical representation of the contemporary man, I have to say I'm kind of, if not completely, disgusted with his behavior. This guy isn't the first Capricorn (yes, I did just make an astrological reference) I've come across. From my observations, they prove to be shitty long-term partners and share similar characteristics that I find to be savage and downright annoying. They have a need for speeding things up, and from the two I've encountered, both contend with an incompatibility between woman and commitment. Honestly though, what's the point in a guy 'buying' when he can get so much for free?

I've figured out my friend's pattern of behavior, so kudos to me, right? Generally, we talk or text or video chat on a daily basis, but every so often, he disappears for a few days. Well, I've done some investigative reporting (I've won an award for this for real) and the results are fascinating. Alright, so there are a little more than four thousand miles, and a decade in age difference, between us, and he's single. Putting that to the side, I've discovered that when he ceases to exist in my reality, he's sleeping around. I asked bluntly to which he confirmed my suspicions. What's so interesting is that we're friends, maybe a little more than your average friend definition, but he disappears every time he has sex with some woman (the last one being old, according to his own words). It seems he experiences some sort of guilt or else he'd be talking to me, after he's finished with whatever woman he's used as a receptacle. We entered into an argument, well, I started it when I told him he uses women. He sees his behavior as a positive where I see it as the objectification and commodification of women. He doesn't care for or about these women--he just uses them. He complains the women he dates are not bright enough, not well-travelled enough, not sophisticated enough, blah blah blah... for him. Of course, I am all of those things (grin to self). He has no desire to know the women, be friends with them, just nothing outside of the sheets, yet he disagrees with my stance. He thinks he's living an authentic life as part of counter culture: not letting rules limit his options and or choices, freedom of sexual expression, etc. Naturally I told him he is the culture of our time, he is the contemporary man promulgating this era of sex with no strings attached. It's casual, he says. There is no such thing as casual, but we're talking about a man, and men, that don't enjoy feeling feelings. I think his argument is bullshit. Absent from his behavior and mindset are morals. He says he has values, but who knows. Seriously, luring a married woman into a potentially compromising situation, just because sex is natural, doesn't speak sainthood to me. Parasitic amoebae are natural too. I think comparing him to a potentially deadly single cell organism is actually a well fitting paradigm for his character. Still, I'm drawn to his charismatic, charming, extroverted personality. Is he a caring, kind, sweet guy? Yes, yes he is. Can he be faithful, committed or loyal? He says so, but he has yet to prove his abilities.

Do you think I'm right (I doubt I'm wrong) about his behavior being stereotypical for a majority of men in our society/culture today? I'm not going to generalize and say all men are like my friend, but I've come in contact with many who share similar traits. I do think many men view women as things to be used, as if a woman is commodity, and I think my friend is trying to spin his behavior in a positive light when in reality, he's as far from being a gentleman.

My first spout...awww...how adorable...hissssss

It's 6:56 pm. I am mildly pissed, agitated and somewhat depressed. This isn't my normal self, well, almost. I am listening to the incessant hum and drip of my Haier mini fridge. It's now 6:58 pm. It's now 7:00 pm. You may be asking yourself, "what is wrong with this girl?" I'll tell you. It's the English. It's all their fault. I am sitting in my rectangular dorm room, furnished by Walmart and Kohl's - but mostly by Walmart - with a teal, magenta, mustard yellow and gray color scheme. It does look lovely, courtesy of Mommy and Daddy, but still.  I have no dog, no Chihuahua nor Pekingese, nor my menacing cat that bites. At least I can watch Fox News Channel on my phone and Fox News Live Online...And for all of you who say FNC is a bunch of nonsense, I'll tell you that Fox News is "fair and balanced" and if you disagree, well then you're just plain biased and ignorant*.

*It's my blog so I can write whatever the hell I want and you can't stop me. Until the first amendment is repealed, I can voice my voice...so there!

So back to the English. It's all their fault that I, and thousands of others are at colleges and universities - ripped away from their families! I knew when I was six years old, SIX years old people!, that I didn't want to ever leave home. Right about now I expect some of you are thinking, "going away to college is a 'good' thing, it promotes personal growth." Well, what if I am already grown and I just happen to know that I didn't want to leave home. To society, children above eighteen living at home is like a disease- maybe like Bullous Pemphigoid, but I am certainly not a blister. In other countries, it's perfectly acceptable and 'normal' (American word of choice). I am sooooooo tired of people saying "It's normal to go away to school, is that behavior normal?, that's not normal to not want to leave home... And growth is another crap word too, "she''ll grow, you'll grow, you'll both grow..." You know what happens to things that grow? They eventually reach maturity and then die! So I guess, in effect, I'm like a droopy, discolored, depressing looking plant about to keel over the side of the terra-cotta pot. Why can't people let other people die slowly, happily and in peace? Why?

The English were the first to travel around the world and 'civilize' the poor, uncivilized people. The English do-gooders, with their "white man's burden" and frilly clothing forced their religion onto native persons, purged them of their culture, brought death and disease, and ugly ass wigs covered in dust. And that is what our society is based on, a bunch of meanness, narcissism, filth and ego.

Because of the English I am suffering. Suffering, yes, suffering from societal norms. I loathe these societal norms and this "peer pressure" from other human beings. Who gave humans this kind of power? Why, it must have been god because that is where the English and all the other ruling civilizations got their "mandate" to force their ideals onto innocent, happy people.  It's all about fear. Fear - fear is power. Religion was created to instill fear within mass populations for one reason, to gain power.

Do you see my point? If you do, great, kudos to you.

If you don't, it's most likely because you are brainwashed. Your mind is saturated - polluted with these exact societal norms I speak of. Maybe you aren't a free thinker, maybe you'll never understand. The best thing you can do is to repent your sins by no longer casting these hellish ideas and pressures onto others because who are you to tell others that you know best? You and I are animals. Highly functioning animals that can be cruel, terrible and ghastly. We are mere creatures that roam the earth for a finite amount of time. So be kind and make no generalizations upon others because each individual knows what is best for themselves. I do not need nor desire anyone's advice or 'words of encouragement' (i.e. "you'll be fine"... [my ass])  from anyone unless asked. I just want my furry people, my blanket and pillow, and my home where the people who care most about me reside.