"Hey there, can I ask you a question?"

Normally I respond with "you just did," but I decided to not be completely bitchy and instead said "sure." I knew what was coming as soon as he responded with "you're probably the hottest girl on here lol." I wasn't expecting to receive the offer I did, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Here's his stats:

Age: 28

Occupation: Special Needs teacher (to little children...quite scary if you continue to read below)

Username: something along the line of dontbecrazy

Attractiveness before I read what he wrote to me: 0

Attractiveness after I read what he wrote to me: -infinite 

He first asked if I'd be interested in any type of relationship. First of all, the use of 'any type of relationship' from some guy just oozes sleaziness, vulgarity and automatically earns a "block me" status in my book. 

But wait, it gets better. I said I wasn't interested. I said "I must reject your offer for any type of relationship." And then he responds with three paragraphs of grossness. He says he would "give massages and would LOVE to go down" on me, all when I'm in between dating other guys. He also promises that he wouldn't request anything of me, ever. He also states that this is just something he recently decided he wanted to do (you mean like five minutes ago?) and he doesn't say or offer his services to just anyone...sure, uh huh, rightttt... 

If you're reading this, I've left out some details FYI, and I just want you to know this is typical behavior/ a typical message that approximately 5% of guys on okcupid send (in my opinion). Most don't send messages like this, so it's an opportunity to blog about it. I can see the positive in this experience...