I like to think of myself as a pragmatic individual. A friend of mine seems to generally agree that I'm logical and reasonable, while still retaining an emotional side. I do believe I am in touch with my feelings. But, my emotions seem to be becoming rather controlling. Granted, I recently learned that my beloved, my soul mate, my baby (dog) has cancer. I'm kind of sort of devastated. It's not that I thought she'd live forever--I certainly hoped she might just turn out to be an immortal one--it's just the fact that I'm confronted with potentially losing the little big love of my life at any time. We've been together for almost half my life. She's my shadow, literally and figuratively. We've snuggled every day. She's been my personal heater during winter, and my road trip companion. She's my heart.
I've thought of myself as a spiritual being, but I'm becoming to think I have a lack of faith. I've learned to keep my expectations and hopes low over the years. With my dog, we have a super cosmic-soul connection. The beauty of her spirit is that she doesn't have fear or anxiety, unless I do and then I feel like crap because I influenced her negatively. She's basically a little biofeedback machine. Logically, I understand and completely admire the dog model of thought; now. As a human, said to be a higher functioning being, I struggle with implementing that same model. My mind has great difficulty focusing solely on the present. Is this a survival technique? It can't be because dogs, domestic and or wild, have survived without thinking about the future. Maybe this is an Occam's razor moment; the simplest answer is the best. The simplest function is superior to the convoluted one.
I haven't even mentioned yet how selfless she is--I've been too busy writing about me--but I digress. There's not a narcissistic bone in her little body. Maybe narcissism is just another form of anxiety. More importantly, a learned behavior. All humans are guilty of it--except a few--I know I'm generalizing, but not one dog I've ever known or heard of suffers from narcissism. Dogs are simpler creatures, which would mean dogs are the better and more highly functioning beings. Maybe dogs, let's say dog equals nature, are more in tune with faith. If we say nature has full and enduring faith, since tragedy doesn't stop them in their tracks, that eliminates anxiety (about death). Moral of the story--I should think like my dog--and love unconditionally like my dog--but act like a lady.
