Looking for a flower in a garden of weeds

I am beyond perturbed. I am pissed. I am disgusted with women treating themselves like a cheap commodity. In the past two weeks, I've been told by guys that they'd really like to fuck me. Flattering, romantic, sweet, eh? These men are not even that good looking, they wear ridiculously shrunken and inappropriately fitting argyle sweaters, or they're from North Africa visiting on a tourist visa. And they get laid. Or so they say. I've had enough of men devaluing women. I've had enough of being tested by men who think I do not mean what I say. Casual sex, promulgated by social apps like Tinder, are just a symptom of the bigger issue. My generation of fellow men and women, are, for lack of a better expression, fucked up. Where are old-fashioned values? I'm not making absurd statements, like premarital sex is a sin. I'm asking, where have an individuals self-worth gone? Don't women value themselves? And, how is it that an entire generation of men, with some exceptions that have yet to appear, finds objectifying and using women completely and undeniably okay?

It's impossible to state that women that participate in meaningless casual encounters with partners they won't ever see or speak to again, all suffer from low self-esteem, patriarchal childhood, or abandonment, issues. What does that mean for the men? Do you ever hear the excuse that men have low self-esteem, have father issues, have abandonment issues? No, you don't. Everyone has experienced some form of loss, so if one of these three possible reasons are acknowledged as a the culprit, that's still not an acceptable excuse. It's become quite clear that many men feel they are owed sex, for any type of time, or money, spent on a woman. An eight dollar drink equates to sex. Dinner and a movie means the girl should put out. Wanting a guy to hold off and get to know a woman before sex, well, that's just absurd. I've also heard the excuse that men become too old for masturbation. Uh, what?! If you believe that, there's something in your water turning your brain to mush.

Here are my key points, summarizing my thoughts on this issue:

(1) It is absolutely so disappointing to see people I know, or don't for that matter, that are so smart, so worthy of good things, choosing to participate in harmful activities, whether it be alcohol, drugs, or casual sex.
(2) Romance is dead. So is intimacy. Men cannot even fathom the concept of courting a woman. They have no idea what courting is, or how to do it.
(3) Parents should be held responsible. Mothers and fathers have not raised their sons to be good men, to have respect for women, to be courteous and loyal, nor have they raised their daughters to value themselves, and to expect to be treated by men with dignity.
(4) Women are not receptacles.

I'm tired of people allowing bad behavior to slide. I want women to expect better, expect more, and to not feel guilt about not giving in to a man's request for, or pressuring for, sex when they have not earned the privilege of being intimate with you. If a woman wants nothing more than a one-night stand, so be it. For those that want to foster a relationship, to build a friendship and intimacy, it shouldn't be a crusade.

I Forgot About January

I meant to write a post in January, by I forgot. Oh well. 

I've been thinking, quite a bit, about where I was a year, and two years ago, at this time. Last February feels like just yesterday--I guess that's why I've been thinking I'd like to tell my former self  to avoid certain situations and people. But that is impossible. Occasionally, I wish I could reach a check point, so to speak. I'd like some sort of divine acknowledgement that I'm doing the right things, that I'm on the right track. Until then, I continue to remind myself I'm exact where I should be, yet anxiety still lurks. 

I have a side job, which consists of helping an almost 89 year old woman once a week run, actually walk, various errands. She told me I was a good granddaughter, and may I remind you,  she is the mother of a family friend. I didn't have the opportunity to assist my  own grandparents, since I was young when they bought the farm (they weren't farm people though). Her words seemed sentimental in a way; I guess it's because they were unexpected. Still, I am reminded of how difficult it is to see someone aging, losing independence, all while the sprint is strong. I can see though she is worried and her mortality is weighing pretty heavily on her mind, which causes me o consider my own even more than usual, and I've never had an immortality complex anyway.