I've been thinking, quite a bit, about where I was a year, and two years ago, at this time. Last February feels like just yesterday--I guess that's why I've been thinking I'd like to tell my former self to avoid certain situations and people. But that is impossible. Occasionally, I wish I could reach a check point, so to speak. I'd like some sort of divine acknowledgement that I'm doing the right things, that I'm on the right track. Until then, I continue to remind myself I'm exact where I should be, yet anxiety still lurks.
I have a side job, which consists of helping an almost 89 year old woman once a week run, actually walk, various errands. She told me I was a good granddaughter, and may I remind you, she is the mother of a family friend. I didn't have the opportunity to assist my own grandparents, since I was young when they bought the farm (they weren't farm people though). Her words seemed sentimental in a way; I guess it's because they were unexpected. Still, I am reminded of how difficult it is to see someone aging, losing independence, all while the sprint is strong. I can see though she is worried and her mortality is weighing pretty heavily on her mind, which causes me o consider my own even more than usual, and I've never had an immortality complex anyway.
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